Owkay,lets start right from the begining..Exams??atrocious..I don't even know what i was thinking..I can honestly say that I didnt put in my all.All that was in my mind during that period was just to get over and done with it.And today,as the results were released,i felt like crying.Crying for both joy and sadness.Joy as I passed all my subjects and sadness as I knew I could do better and I expected much more out of myself..All in all,I'm dissapointed with myself.
Hari Raya?I can honestly say as the years goes by,the excitement for Hari Raya just die-ed off..and this year I only celebrated on the first day of Raya..The second day I was rotting at home,fasting(puasa nam') and wrecking my brains for the exams..my collection?ALOT!alot more then last year..Because,last year I celebrated Raya with my family and many assume that i'm the elder sister to my ELDER sis as I look much more mature.So when they ask my sister whether she's schooling,my sis said no and thus they assume I should be working to as i'm "older".But this year,many were asking where was I and when they knew that I'm studying at home,they ask my siblings to pass me the green packet.hahahahaha....Maybe I should do that for the upcoming years?hehehehe...
Holidays?Not of much excitement..Started working the day straight after my last paper:)Planning to go to Genting maybe?A drive with sis Nad and abg Wawan?Soooo have been wanting to take that ride!I don't know what you call that but it's the 20 storey high(i think) thingy and they'll just "drop" u all the way down..Hopefully if I go there one day,I'll get the 'KICK' as when I went to Escape Theme Park and Jakarta's theme park its like as though there's nothing.hahaahaha...
*smiling with teeth just will never suit me..
Okay,let's get down and talk about myself.At this point of time,many is running through my mind. Work,family,friends,financial,personal,short say EVERYTHING! Many asked or rather say that i'm rich.But I can honestly tell u it's not me it's my Mum.I only 'tompang'.If u ask me,I can honestly and proudly say that I've been supporting myself very-very well.& I can swear that I've never asked Mum for extra money to pay for my bills,books,toileteries,clothes,accesories,transportations....short say all!The money that she gave me every week to school I somehow make full use of it.Planing carefully between WANT and NEED..But as u know,sometimes temptation just kills and I can honestly say I've spent over HUNDREDS on clothes..I can also say that I'm going back to 'square 1' and luckily my pay day is next week!Thus,im still okay:)
Recently,I've been going out with this guy. He's such a nice guy.& I believe that he would be one of many girls choices out there:)When I'm with him,I can honestly say I felt the warmth,the comfortness,the security everything.Too be honest yes I might want to give myself a chance and start out with him.But a few things are holding me back.One,as I get to know more about his surroundings of friends somehow or rather I feel that I should have stayed out of the picture.For I believe everything was perfect and would be perfect if I hadn't "appear".Secondly,one if his friend,a girl likes him and they often or rather always hang around together as a group.Some of u might be asking me SO?Well,the problem is,I'm a girl and I feel for her...I don't wanna ''cut queue'' for I myself went through that phase before.I know the feeling so badly.The feeling that many wouldnt just understand or rather feel.The guy that I've been waiting for-for close to two years,I've known him longer than the girl that he is with together now.We were almost together.Almost.Almost.But in the end,he went with her.I tried telling myself that there was no fate between us and I still wonder why do I still bother to wait...Thirdly,I believe that he wouldn't want to be tied down to relationship from what I see...Fourthly,I don't put in too much hope for I've been through this phase and I know that me putting too much hope would mean MUCH disapointment.Everytime,being around him makes me feel........I don't know how to put it in words but the feeling is just there...and there are also other reasons thats holding me back.And all I'm doing now is to pray hard all day long that history doesn't repeat itself for if it does,I don't know what to say....
Today?I took off.Went for my photoshoot(one of the picture is above).Cab there and Mrt-ed back...As soon as I reach home,I went to collect the strawberry cheesecake as Tampines with babe Ain.Reached home,abg Wawan reach home and soon enough,my friends came over for Raya...didnt manage to take a shower,change or even wipe off my make up or what..hahaha..
Hahahah..this is sure to be my longest post EVER! *ta-ta*
